People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
