Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
