was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
