so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
