I got chris browned last night
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
