She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
