I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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