You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
