Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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