mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
