My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Come on in and take your pants off
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
