we're chasing vodka with high fives
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
