So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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