im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
