Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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