when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
