Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
