how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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