When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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