At least make sure they are 18
Why
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
