I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Congratulations! We have a period
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
