He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize
