we have pet lesbian snakes
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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