i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
