she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
