Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
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