Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
