The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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