What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
