some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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