We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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