ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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