Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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