there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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