SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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