Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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