dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
