I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
