he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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