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so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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