Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
