So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
