An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
