the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
