Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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