My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
