Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I have peed in a lot of sinks
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
