The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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