I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
