Duck Duck Cougar?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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